These past few weeks have been such an interesting time for me. For the first time in years I am unemployed. I won't lie, there have been rough days, but the majority of the time I have spent feeling pretty good. I have a wonderful support system of my boyfriend, our families and friends and the kindness of others to thank for this.
I had a friend who was laid off a few months ago. When I spoke with her she was so angry. She was frustrated that she left her previous company to go to a firm that was not as secure. She was angry that they did it so suddenly. Mostly, she was upset that this was happening to her and her husband. Her perspective was that this is the time that she was to make her way in her career. Having just turned 30, she and her husband were turning to look forward to starting a family. In her eyes her lay off derailed their whole plan, really, their whole life.
I have to admit that when I first spoke to her, I didn't fully understand her anger. I couldn't fully comprehend why she was taking it as a such an affront to the person and employee that she was. Rather than looking to the economy or her company to place blame, she was giving the worst of it to herself. Of course, I sympathized with her. What she and her husband were going through was horrible. But, I didn't get the full extent of it.
Well, let's just say I have a much better understanding of what she was feeling. I always anticipated that if I should be affected by the economic crisis that our country and really the world is experiencing, I would chalk it up to a bad market and move on. I was not ready for the anger or the way that unemployment makes you question yourself. But, I also am determined to not let myself wallow in the negativity of it all. Rather, I am determined to turn my unemployment into an opportunity. I am not downplaying the severity of the job market. The unemployment rate is climbing as I write this. But, I refuse to allow myself to go down that dark road.
Don't get me wrong, though. I had a couple challenging days. I spent a week home at my mom's letting her cook for me and baby me. I shed some tears, went through the "why me" phase and then gave myself a stern talking to. Having already gotten my share of life lessons, I am well aware that while this is a set back and a challenge, if I have my health, my family and my friends, I am further ahead. While scary and frustrating, there are worse things to be than out of work. With this in mind I started to pound the pavement and get myself out there.
The first step for me was to reach out to everyone that I am close to. Within minutes of hearing the news my boyfriend's sister, really one of my closest friends, was at our apartment with two bottles of wine. I love that she knew this was so not a one bottle kind of situation. The three of us had a great night chatting, drinking vino and cursing anyone who ever wronged me at any job ever.
The second thing I did was host a dinner party for my girls. We had plans on the calendar and I was not going to let a little thing like being unemployed allow me to cancel the date. It was cathartic to have a full apartment and a group of women laughing and spending time together. It helped snap me out of the funk that I had fallen in the week before.
With that out of the way, I moved on to reaching out to my other friends. I have friends from all across the board and they are great. They come from college, New York, growing up, past jobs and of course there are also those acquired as you move through life. In times like this, even I am astounded by how amazing they all are. Within moments of receiving a call or an email from me they all were out there reaching out to contacts, forwarding my resume and generally being supportive.
What has probably surprised me the most about being out of work, though, is the generosity of the people I meet. Of course you expect your family and friends to be supportive. What is surprising to me is how their contacts, friends, past coworkers and family step in to help, too. I have had more meetings with friends of friends or friend's colleagues just simply due to their own generosity and hope to lend a helping hand. It's amazing.
What is also pretty cool is that when people I used to work with or went to UMass with hear what happened through another friend or a post on the blog they reach out to me to help. Just today a friend from college who I had not heard from in years called to offer his help. The great thing is that each week more and more people check in or call with a lead on a job.
During a time when you can't count on much being stable, it's so great to know that I have a wonderful and supportive boyfriend, family and big group of friends. It gives me hope that with people like this in communities across the nation, our country is surely going to pull out of this horrible economic cycle. While I would love to be working right now, I also realize that there are many others in my situation with far more responsibility than me. If I had children or a mortgage, I don't think I would have it in me to feel this way or write it. But then again, I'm sure there are parents and partners across the globe surprising themselves each day.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Summer Lifestyle
Last weekend, I made the trip up to the Berkshires for a bridal shower and to spend some time with friends and family. I was so looking forward to getting out of the city after a challenging past few weeks. The plan was to stay through the week to be here for the Fourth.
I stay in touch with many of my friends from high school. Really they're more like family. I also get updates via Facebook on what my friends from growing up are up to. One thing I am always envious of is that it seems so much easier for them to be active in fun ways. Walks through the city streets as a form of exercise are just not the same as the beautiful country roads that we grew up on. And, of course, the alternatives to the gym are endless: hiking, biking, kyaking. There's no reason to be lazy here and furthermore, you don't even want to be!
While I'm busy planning my next career move, I feel a very strange dichotomy going on. It's hard to actively pursue getting my resume out there while I sit on my deck in the Berkshires sipping a lemonade watching the neighbors mow their lawns and wonder what we can bbq for dinner. I know when I get back to New York my city mentality will kick back in, but right now I feel like things have slowed down. Way down.
Over the past few months, New York has been such a stressful place to live and work. While it's strange to now have some time on my hands, I am really looking forward to decompressing. In just the past two weeks I have lost a little of the edge of cynicism that one acquires after living in Manhattan for some time.
What a better place to relax than in the country? It's so lovely here. I walk outside and have the greatest view of rolling hills. Going for a run on our street is so much better than plugging away at the gym on 59th Street. What's more is that I think that having access to such pleasant exercise and an opportunity to drink in the beauty of the area makes for much happier people. Even in the rainy weather this week, people were taking advantage of being outside.
In New York, being outside is often merely a backdrop. The city streets are a set for dinner outside or drinks on a roofdeck. In the country, the setting is part of what's actually happening. Nature has a way of being so much more involved compared to concrete.
What's more is that I get the opportunity to spend time with my friends who live here. We go for walks, meet for lunches and have cocktails in the evenings. There are barbecues, parties and impromptu picnics. Going out last night was practically a scene from Cheers. My boyfriend and some other friends from here who live in New York made the drive up after work. Those of us who were already in town spent the day not even minding that it was pouring because the weekend is here! It was so great to all be out last night to catch up and wind down.
Like many New Yorkers, I spend more weekends out of the city during the summer than in it. Our apartment becomes more of a Monday to Friday place to be. Weekend plans are made months in advance. No opportunity to spend time with family or friends in the country or by the beach is missed. A rainy weekend feels like a personal assault.
I bet most city people can relate to this summer lifestyle. As we all clamor to get out and make the most of the nice[ish] weather, I hope that we can find ways to take some time to slow down and enjoy ourselves a little bit more. After all, summer is far too short to begin with.
I stay in touch with many of my friends from high school. Really they're more like family. I also get updates via Facebook on what my friends from growing up are up to. One thing I am always envious of is that it seems so much easier for them to be active in fun ways. Walks through the city streets as a form of exercise are just not the same as the beautiful country roads that we grew up on. And, of course, the alternatives to the gym are endless: hiking, biking, kyaking. There's no reason to be lazy here and furthermore, you don't even want to be!
While I'm busy planning my next career move, I feel a very strange dichotomy going on. It's hard to actively pursue getting my resume out there while I sit on my deck in the Berkshires sipping a lemonade watching the neighbors mow their lawns and wonder what we can bbq for dinner. I know when I get back to New York my city mentality will kick back in, but right now I feel like things have slowed down. Way down.
Over the past few months, New York has been such a stressful place to live and work. While it's strange to now have some time on my hands, I am really looking forward to decompressing. In just the past two weeks I have lost a little of the edge of cynicism that one acquires after living in Manhattan for some time.
What a better place to relax than in the country? It's so lovely here. I walk outside and have the greatest view of rolling hills. Going for a run on our street is so much better than plugging away at the gym on 59th Street. What's more is that I think that having access to such pleasant exercise and an opportunity to drink in the beauty of the area makes for much happier people. Even in the rainy weather this week, people were taking advantage of being outside.
In New York, being outside is often merely a backdrop. The city streets are a set for dinner outside or drinks on a roofdeck. In the country, the setting is part of what's actually happening. Nature has a way of being so much more involved compared to concrete.
What's more is that I get the opportunity to spend time with my friends who live here. We go for walks, meet for lunches and have cocktails in the evenings. There are barbecues, parties and impromptu picnics. Going out last night was practically a scene from Cheers. My boyfriend and some other friends from here who live in New York made the drive up after work. Those of us who were already in town spent the day not even minding that it was pouring because the weekend is here! It was so great to all be out last night to catch up and wind down.
Like many New Yorkers, I spend more weekends out of the city during the summer than in it. Our apartment becomes more of a Monday to Friday place to be. Weekend plans are made months in advance. No opportunity to spend time with family or friends in the country or by the beach is missed. A rainy weekend feels like a personal assault.
I bet most city people can relate to this summer lifestyle. As we all clamor to get out and make the most of the nice[ish] weather, I hope that we can find ways to take some time to slow down and enjoy ourselves a little bit more. After all, summer is far too short to begin with.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Searching for a Spark
I have a friend who is a teacher and is looking for her next position. As the latest victim of the financial industry's downturn, I am also looking for a new job. She and I have been trading notes. Our conclusion: looking for a new job is a hell of a lot like dating.
The way I see it, getting your resume ready is like getting ready to go out. It's the prepping. How can you present yourself best? Like with clothing, you wonder if you're being too risque or too conservative. As with accessories, you question if you are being too flashy or not flashy enough.
Sending your resume out is similar to putting yourself out there while dating. These days, through the internet the similarities are overwhelming. Whether you're putting yourself out there in the good old fashioned way through friends and the bar scene or you've given internet dating a shot, getting your resume out there to recruiters or to personal contacts is very similar. You put your feelers out and see what happens. Let the waiting game commence!
I had forgotten how personal interviewing is. It's very much like a first date. Once you get the call from the recruiter or a friend who's helping you out, you are exposed. You set the date and count down the days to the first meeting!
We've all dated guys who seem really good on paper, right? They're the guys who work in real estate, are investment bankers or attorneys at prestigious firms. They are always totally in shape, have a nice group of friends and are beyond polite. Their friends recommend them with gusto and you are sure to bring your A game.
Once you get to the first date, usually drinks after work, you grab a cocktail at the bar and sit down to get to know each other better. While often these drinks go perfectly, sometimes you're left wondering what your friend was thinking. His dry sense of humor feels a lot more like he's boring. His unwavering politeness leaving him appearing stiff. His commitment to exercise irritates you as he cautions that margaritas are the most caloric drink you can order, just as you order your second...
I've had similar experiences while interviewing. The prestigious firm that is so self important they bring you back for four rounds of interviews. Fifteen people later, you can't recall the names of the first five people you met and you wonder if they remember you are on your lunch break! And, we've all gone to job interviews where the description the recruiter sent isn't quite in line with what your would-be boss is describing. Turns out that "special projects" really means managing her calendar and revamping the filing system. Um, no thanks.
Ultimately though, like with dating, the most stressful part is finding something you like. You want good chemistry! You are searching for a spark! Just today I had a meeting with a guy I really liked. We had good rapport and conversation flowed easily. We joked, I had quick responses to his questions and made dynamic inquiries about the business.
Of course, by the end of the elevator ride, I questioned my responses to his questions. Were my points succinct? Was I thoughtful enough with my questions? Half way down the block I called my recruiter the way I would ring my girlfriends as soon as I got in the cab after a first date. When the receptionist transferred me to his voicemail I tried not to panic.
Upon hearing back from my recruiter, I filled him in on my take about the interview. He said he would reach out for feedback today. He'll be in touch. Like when a friend sets you up, you sit back and wait for them to talk to their friend. You try not to call too much; you don't want to seem too eager or, worse, desperate.
Lucky for me, I've done my share of dating. I'm sure it will prove helpful in regard to the interviewing that lays ahead. After some of the guys I've dated, these hedge funds should be a breeze!
I actually enjoy interviewing. What I like most about it is what I always liked best about dating- it's a chance to meet new people. After living in New York for eight years, I don't meet new people as much as I used to. No longer single, I encourage my friends who are out there dating to enjoy it. You never know who you'll meet or what will happen! It could lead to your future husband, a new friend or your next job.
Ultimately, like with dating, I try hard to maintain a positive attitude. I have my moments, just like everyone else, but in the end positive people go a lot further. As with dating, my mantra for interviewing is that you never know what meeting one person can do to the direction of your life or theirs.
The way I see it, getting your resume ready is like getting ready to go out. It's the prepping. How can you present yourself best? Like with clothing, you wonder if you're being too risque or too conservative. As with accessories, you question if you are being too flashy or not flashy enough.
Sending your resume out is similar to putting yourself out there while dating. These days, through the internet the similarities are overwhelming. Whether you're putting yourself out there in the good old fashioned way through friends and the bar scene or you've given internet dating a shot, getting your resume out there to recruiters or to personal contacts is very similar. You put your feelers out and see what happens. Let the waiting game commence!
I had forgotten how personal interviewing is. It's very much like a first date. Once you get the call from the recruiter or a friend who's helping you out, you are exposed. You set the date and count down the days to the first meeting!
We've all dated guys who seem really good on paper, right? They're the guys who work in real estate, are investment bankers or attorneys at prestigious firms. They are always totally in shape, have a nice group of friends and are beyond polite. Their friends recommend them with gusto and you are sure to bring your A game.
Once you get to the first date, usually drinks after work, you grab a cocktail at the bar and sit down to get to know each other better. While often these drinks go perfectly, sometimes you're left wondering what your friend was thinking. His dry sense of humor feels a lot more like he's boring. His unwavering politeness leaving him appearing stiff. His commitment to exercise irritates you as he cautions that margaritas are the most caloric drink you can order, just as you order your second...
I've had similar experiences while interviewing. The prestigious firm that is so self important they bring you back for four rounds of interviews. Fifteen people later, you can't recall the names of the first five people you met and you wonder if they remember you are on your lunch break! And, we've all gone to job interviews where the description the recruiter sent isn't quite in line with what your would-be boss is describing. Turns out that "special projects" really means managing her calendar and revamping the filing system. Um, no thanks.
Ultimately though, like with dating, the most stressful part is finding something you like. You want good chemistry! You are searching for a spark! Just today I had a meeting with a guy I really liked. We had good rapport and conversation flowed easily. We joked, I had quick responses to his questions and made dynamic inquiries about the business.
Of course, by the end of the elevator ride, I questioned my responses to his questions. Were my points succinct? Was I thoughtful enough with my questions? Half way down the block I called my recruiter the way I would ring my girlfriends as soon as I got in the cab after a first date. When the receptionist transferred me to his voicemail I tried not to panic.
Upon hearing back from my recruiter, I filled him in on my take about the interview. He said he would reach out for feedback today. He'll be in touch. Like when a friend sets you up, you sit back and wait for them to talk to their friend. You try not to call too much; you don't want to seem too eager or, worse, desperate.
Lucky for me, I've done my share of dating. I'm sure it will prove helpful in regard to the interviewing that lays ahead. After some of the guys I've dated, these hedge funds should be a breeze!
I actually enjoy interviewing. What I like most about it is what I always liked best about dating- it's a chance to meet new people. After living in New York for eight years, I don't meet new people as much as I used to. No longer single, I encourage my friends who are out there dating to enjoy it. You never know who you'll meet or what will happen! It could lead to your future husband, a new friend or your next job.
Ultimately, like with dating, I try hard to maintain a positive attitude. I have my moments, just like everyone else, but in the end positive people go a lot further. As with dating, my mantra for interviewing is that you never know what meeting one person can do to the direction of your life or theirs.
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