How to Know When to Surrender and What This Means

A misconception exists about managing our lives,of my attitude was a result of this).o I didn't get every
especially if we use spiritual tools. The misconception isbit of work done I'd brought with me, but I got
that everything should go "perfectly" all the time. Weeverything that was important done, including my
really know how to burden ourselves with suchscheduled calls.o My friend needed to return a day
thoughts.later than expected, which moved my schedule back
A spiritual approach to life (or any approach) is nota day; but, we had a lovely visit when she returned.
about controlling everything; it's about managing yourShe treated me to a two-pound lobster dinner and
energy no matter what. It's about choosing how yousent me home with car service, a 1 hour-ride instead
experience the moments. If you understand you mayof the 2.5-hour train, subway, and walking commute I
stumble, your perspective and experience can be awould have made with a heavy suitcase.
better one.There was more, but you can see how even though
I lived this when I recently house-sat for a friend,unexpected stuff happened, good things consistently
something I've done several times before. Thoughoccurred, as well. I have to admit I had some inner
each time is different, there's a mix of what needs tostruggle going on, all of it self-induced, of course. It's so
get done and a mini-vacation. It's an understatement toeasy to slip into patterns of negative inner chatter
say there are amenities: use of the Mercedes Jeep,when things "seem" to go awry.
Jacuzzi, fireplace, big screen TV and satellite, the hugeWay of the Peaceful Warrior, the movie based on
house on two gorgeous secluded acres, the privateDan Millman's book, played the last day I was there. In
beach, and more. Previous times involved around threeone scene, Joy speaks to Dan months after his
hours of physical energy each day to take care ofaccident and says, "I know this is a scary time for you,
things that have to get done, sometimes a bit more,but are you paying attention?" When I perceived how
though I stay available for whatever 24/7, with the restthis line of dialogue felt in my body, I entered a state of
of the time my own.inner peace.
This time, each day involved six to eight hours ofThis line was what my week had been about,
physical energy, plus some of my own work . . .especially since I swapped "scary" with "stressful."
Definitely not a mini-vacation for someone who usesThere were times I'd paid attention to how my ego got
her mind, not her muscles.o The first five days, arattled and I'd thought, "Watch your circuitry." One day I
young houseguest was there who had events in Newwalked around thinking the word "Peace" every time
York City every day; and I felt responsible that shemy self-chatter didn't benefit me. My days at home
returned safely every evening, which meant I never(where I work) are, primarily, easily managed and
went to bed until she was back (we had delightfulorderly. During those ten days, I observed how flexible
conversations in front of the fireplace).o The first nightand inflexible I can be when not in my "controlled"
a storm littered the yard and large koi pond withenvironment. I noted the attention I pay and don't pay
branches and debris, and uprooted a newly plantedto what and how, and how often.
tree that blocked the driveway and street (my friendOn the seventh day, I told myself it was time to
has tree staff that showed up thirty minutes after Isurrender; realized it was possible to make a list of
called her and they saved the tree).o There was athings I chose to do each day and get them done, no
second storm the next day (I discovered after clearingmatter what else happened; and, I surrendered the
debris after the first storm that yard guys appear andagenda of restful days and nights. This didn't mean I
take care of this).o The next day, a segment of thegave up, but allowed the experience, observed myself
basement floor was covered with leaves (the guyamid all of it, and chose to flow and respond more
with the leaf blower didn't close the window), so Ioften, rather than react (or gritch, which I did to some
cleaned up.o The following day, the same floorextent until watching the Peaceful Warrior movie). I
segment was covered with a LOT of bird feathersallowed it had gone just as it should so I could learn
(lots of fun to sweep). A few hours later, I found thesomething about myself.
live bird, caught it with gloved-hands, set it free, andSurrender, then, can mean to allow. It can mean to pay
marveled the cats that stay down there let it alone.oattention in a way that serves you. It can allow you to
There was a surprise-to-me installation of five phonesmerge with events so you become the experience
that caused me to sit with the dog for five hours soyou wish to have.
the technician could work (during this time, I read mostIs there anything happening in your life at this moment
of a book I'd brought). The phone guy had arrived in ayou're resisting? Are you willing to choose to learn
cab and was grateful when I got him to the trainabout yourself through it? If it's something you can
station four minutes before the next train left (thischange, do so. When you find yourself in situations you
saved him from a fifty-minute delay). I later found thedon't have complete control over, surrender by paying
same basement floor section I'd cleaned twice wasattention. Shift it, if needed, and if you can; because
littered from his working in that area.o There were twowhen you pay attention, you feel your inner power
nights out of ten the dog (with bark set on Loud) didn'tgrow in strength and peace. Then you can perceive
yelp frantically in the middle of the night at raccoons orand experience what's going on around you differently.
nothing (I don't do loss of sleep well and allow that part